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InvestorsObserver
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Lee M. Allen
One day when I am very old, but not so old that I talk mostly about my frequent trips to Walgreens (WAG), the pills I’m taking, and my aches and pains, I will finally get the call I have been waiting for. No, not Sears (SHLD) calling to say they finally found the dehumidifier I dropped off for service five years ago. It will be some fine high school, community college, trade school, or actual prominent university calling to ask me to speak at their commencement ceremony.
Why me? Because I will tell it like it is.
I’m sure you’ve been to one of these annual hoopla jamborees and, while it’s a great educational milestone for the graduating students, this is definitely not the time to send them off into the harsh unforgiving world heads filled with sparkles, rainbows, and unicorns.
A commencement speaker needs to acknowledge the students’ hard work and the immense parental support; but before these kids move on to the next chapter of their lives, there are a few essential things they need to hear about the pitfalls that await them in the next chapter of their lives…
Read on for more of Lee’s insights into the brave new world of graduation speeches... |
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The parents of these graduates have been talking to them about this serious stuff since they were four years old. Unfortunately, the kids stopped listening when they were five, so all they really heard for many years leading up to this graduation was, “Blah, Blah, Blah, retirement. Blah, Blah, Blah, insurance. Blah, Blah, Blah, invest in Marvel Technology (MRVL). Blah, Blah, Blah, safe sex… ”
So, these last few minutes, while the graduates are all sitting quietly, overloading Verizon (VZ) texting each other about the post-ceremony parties, is the last possible moment they can hear this kind of life-altering advice. School was supposed to prepare them; the teachers were too distracted with stuff like reading, writing, arithmetic, and Latin.
So when I get the call to speak at a graduation, and that call will come some day, these are the points I would make:
What does this picture have in common
with the Social Security System?
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There are two very important decisions in lifeThere are two decisions you make in life that can set you up for a life of comfort and happiness or a life of something less than totally happy. Those decisions are what career you pursue and who you marry. You can make an error on one of these, but if you choose poorly at both, all I can say is that the French Foreign Legion may still be taking applicants because that’s all you will have to look forward to. If you pick the right career, you will be happy and your bank account will hopefully stay topped off. If you marry wisely, your spouse will be contributing to the household cash hoard also. If you make a bad career choice but your spouse is doing well, you will be fine. If you have a good career and your spouse is more the sit-around-and-play-video-games type, you will survive on love between bouts in the latest Electronic Arts (ERTS) action game. But if your career is in the dumper and your spouse is not contributing, you don’t want to keep firearms or large containers of Round Up – made by Scotts Miracle-Gro (SMG) – around the house. |
Act quickly when it counts
There is no need to hurry with those big decisions in life like marriage, when to have children, and when to start cleaning out the garage. But when it comes to the more critical time-sensitive decisions, the ones that could alter your life, you need to quickly weigh the alternatives and then decide which will get you what you want. Don’t wait for someone else to make the decision. And, if you are ever the President of one of your leading nations and there is a hurricane in one of your larger cities, get down there within 24 hours to help those people; faster if you can. You are the President, after all. One call to Bentonville, Arkansas and Wal-Mart (WMT) could send a thousand trucks full of food and water; then a thousand more to follow.
You can’t break the laws of physics
Gravity is an example of one of the irrefutable laws of physics. Now I am not an expert at this physics stuff; there are a lot of those concepts that are beyond me, but I do understand gravity. You drop something and it falls. If you try to fight these fussy laws of physics, you will expend immense amounts of time and energy and lose. Typically, when these laws are being broken, you will hear someone say, “This time it’s different.” When you hear that, run for the exits. Something bad is about to hit the fan. The fallout and near collapse of our financial markets is an example of what happens when you try to break the laws of physics. All those people and all those companies and all those investors just could not support the force of gravity from all that money that was loaned out with no hope of being paid back.
Write down your goals and dreams
Your goals and dreams should be written on a piece of paper you keep with you at all times. You can change them whenever you want. But if that paper is blank, you need to slow down and decide where you’re going because you are just wandering. That’s okay for a five-year-old kid, but not for someone who just graduated. Goals and dreams are what will keep you going no matter how many resumes you have to send out. And always remember, if a guy like Timothy Geitner can get a job, you can too. |
The number one graduation gift – luggage
packed and waiting at the door
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The gravy train is over
One of the reasons your mom and dad are so happy is because when you go home today, you will find your packed suitcase at the door. They know you will be leaving today so they can get back to living their lives. Your parents have just given you the better part of their time on earth along with untold heaps of money. Now you are on your own. Please do them the favor of the occasional holiday, birthday, and anniversary card, but do not under any circumstances think moving back home is an option. Unless you have exhausted all your job prospects including third grill person at McDonalds (MCD), then and only then can you return to your parents’ home. But live out of your suitcase to show you are just there for a while.
I would speak at the school
that teaches this
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Those trophies were just to make you feel good
Since you were a few years old and started playing soccer, baseball, basketball or whatever sport you chose, did you think is was odd that you always received a trophy, certificate, or ribbon at the end of the season? That stuff was just to make you feel good. Your team didn’t always finish in first place. You were probably in last place a few times. But that coach of yours would always say a few fine words about the team and your contributions then give you that trophy. Unfortunately, the next phase of your life will not have trophies. In fact, in this next phase, coaches that do not deliver first place teams will probably get fired. I have heard from many business executives who tell me it takes years to re-educate entry-level employees about this trophy thing. Young people expect almost instant raises, promotions, and trophies even if their work is not at a reasonable level. In this next phase of your life, you will need to earn those trophies every day. |
What to do with your first paycheck
Hopefully, someday you’ll get that dream job you want. When you get your first paycheck, don’t run out and put a down payment on a car, Microsoft (MSFT) Xbox 2000, or a new wardrobe from Nordstrom (JWN), Macy’s (M) or Abercrombie & Fitch (ANF). Take ten percent of it and start saving it someplace like Wells Fargo (WFC), Citibank (C), or Bank of America (BAC). You will need to do this because social security will be about as real as unicorns when you get old. Also get a wonderful gift for your parents. It doesn’t need to be expensive; just something meaningful. They will appreciate it. You won’t understand this until you have kids of your own.
I hope when they call for me to do this graduation speech, it isn’t poodle obedience school. But at least I know those dogs will listen. It’s too hard for them to send texts with those paws.
f you have any other ideas for commencement speech wisdom or you are a top administrator at a university looking for next year’s graduation speaker, please e-mail me at LeeAllen@InvestorsObserver.com.
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CLICK HERE to begin your 90 DAYS FREE.
We can make this 90 day FREE offer because we are confident you will find our service an essential part of your investing toolkit and stay a subscriber for many years to come. Our biggest risk is that we do find people cancel their subscriptions when they move to their own private islands without internet access. |
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