This whole life over complication could be one of the significant contributing factors to last year’s financial meltdown and this continued economic slump. People are so busy trying to decode their A T &T (T) cell phone bills, find the actual number of calories in a McDonalds (MCD) Big Mac, or if their account at Bank of America (BAC) is earning any interest or just being used for executive bonuses. So they don’t have any time to be good, old-fashioned consumers and buy things to keep this economy spinning.  

We spend so much time dealing with the distractions life throws us that we don’t have time to do the things we truly enjoy -- the simpler enjoyable things like walks in the park, afternoon naps, reading this article, and spending more time with our kids.

Could this be H1N1 Swine Flu patient zero?

A simpler life magazine. But look at what the articles are about. It looks like too much work!

I know I am going to get this flu sooner or later no matter how many times I wash my hands or how much I wear this surgical mask I bought down at the Walgreens (WAG). I’m what is known in the medical profession as a flu magnet. If I could make some money at it, I would rent my blood out to AstraZeneca (AZN), Sanofi-Aventis (SNY), Novartis (NVS), or Wal-Mart (WMT) when they work up their flu vaccines.

It’s not that I am afraid of the swine flu. It seems like most people here get over it without major complications. I just hear you really can’t eat much when you are down with this flu and it takes a lot of food to support my overly ample physique. At least two of those flu symptoms would not be conducive to eating.

Combine this flu concern with the way my 401K seemed like it was recovering only to start losing ground again and it is definitely that time of year for me to reflect on how complicated my life has become.

So after a few days of wearing a surgical mask around the office and asking the receptionist to put her hand on my forehead to see if I had a fever, I decided to just stay home.

We would like to listen to music, so we buy an Apple (AAPL) iPod… We need to rip our CDs to a computer then transfer that music to the iPod, which always seems low on power. And those earphones were designed for someone else, since they tend to fall out of my ears.  I would like to add a few new Sinatra tunes to the iPod so I have to set up an account at the iTunes store. Whoops… I need a Visa (V) credit card with some limit left on it. Time to check my wife’s purse. It will be at least a month before she sees the charges. Then I can always blame it on the kids. That’s what they’re here for, right?  Then something happens to the iPod. Over night it seems all my Sinatra and Bee Gees music (could I get in trouble for using those two names in the same sentence?) has disappeared and music is now there from groups like Fall Out Boy, Lady GaGa, and Hannah Indiana. I am told later by one of my more technically-savvy kids that this is a bug Apple knows about and plans to fix in their next iPod version.

He has a simpler life now.
Maybe that’s why he’s smiling.

This guy has a monopoly on the simpler life business. Even with five wives.

Unfortunately, it’s hard coded into our brains to strive for better, faster, shinier, Apple-branded stuff. If that wasn’t there in the back of our noggins we would still be living in trees, eating raw antelope meat, and running away from lions. But look at some of these tribes that live in the jungles of South America or Papua New Guinea. They seem happy. They have grass shacks to live in, food to eat, and many have several wives. No argument about who’s doing the dishes in that family. The man is outnumbered when he has five wives.

Why are these jungle people so happy? No income tax, no cable bills, no mortgages, no office politics, no missing a few episodes of Fox’s – owned by NewsCorp (NWS) – “24”, and not being able to figure out what’s happening with Jack Bauer. Did he forget how to torture bad guys? What’s he doing in Washington anyway?

These gentile jungle folk just hang out all day and eat a few bananas, kill a wild emu for dinner, then sit around the fire at night and drink some age old clear liquid that mysteriously makes his toothless wives look good to him. If it wasn’t for that age old liquid, the tribe would have died out generations ago.

Since I have been banished to the car, I could drive to Indiana or Pennsylvania to learn more about how these Amish people really live. But they might be put off by a man driving up to one of their houses in what they may perceive as a smoke- breathing iron devil buggy. And if that doesn’t get them upset, the big yellow signs on the door that say “QUARANTINED” might get the elders going for their pitchforks and hoes.

Amish man on his way to the 7-Eleven to buy a
lottery ticket and some blueberry flavored coffee.
Could life be better?